 | | |
| | |
|
Spaces home  The ramblings of Ellie -...PhotosProfileFriendsMore |  Tools   |
The ramblings of Ellie - "f*ck your umlaut" Kemm.Because it's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
Pride..... ...and so it begins.... July 31 GOT IT!!.  We are finally in possession of the flat!! Aint it pretty? And a stones throw away from the beach in Kemptown...oh baby.. Sheeeeeesh.Gay Men. You just can't win. Please witness today's email conversation with the office queen:
From: Oades, Matthew {CCT~Lewes}
I have a proposition for you!
Matthew Oades Customer Services Co-Ordinator
-----Original Message----- From: Kemm, Ellie {Card~Lewes} Sent: Tuesday, July 11, 2006 3:07 PM To: Oades, Matthew {CCT~Lewes} Subject: RE:
Does it involve 3 small goats, 14 beef cake tomatoes and a rabbi?
_____________________________________________
Don't mention rabbi's!
And if you don't take me seriously I'll take my proposition elsewhere!
-----Original Message----- From: Kemm, Ellie {Card~Lewes} Sent: Tuesday, July 11, 2006 3:09 PM To: Oades, Matthew {CCT~Lewes} Subject: RE:
Alright!!!! What is it?
From: Oades, Matthew {CCT~Lewes}
No! You've hurt my feelings!
-----Original Message----- From: Kemm, Ellie {Card~Lewes} Sent: Tuesday, July 11, 2006 3:11 PM To: Oades, Matthew {CCT~Lewes} Subject: RE:
………………..You were hurt by the sentence ‘3 small goats, 14 beef cake tomatoes and a rabbi?’
From: Oades, Matthew {CCT~Lewes}
No the inference!
I'm crying here!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! June 30 Life lessonsHere is one I learned for myself yesterday:
You will learn more about life standing sober in a kebab shop for ten minutes, than you will ever learn in ten years of school.
Trust me, it’s an eye opener. Flat to LetDoes anyone need, or know of anyone who needs, to rent out a lovely fully furnished two double bedroom flat with a garden in Elm Grove? Its my flat, from sept Oct-ish £750 a month excl bills with no agent fees! Pet friendly with washing machine, cable TV, internet access, shower and free parking. Let me know as soon as possible… ejkemm@hotmail.com xx June 28 Bollom’s wisdom on medical matters:Bol: “Do you think I might have contracted bird flu as I poured boiling water over a lump of bird shit and the steam went up my nose”
Me: “Yes Bol, highly likely” June 27 Sick and cruel........In an interview about his failed marriage, Sir Paul McCartney was
asked if he would ever go down on one knee again...
In response he said, "I'd prefer it if you called her Heather."
June 23 Things they didn’t think through:But I am bored so I have....
Case One: Manslaughter vs Murder. Manslaughter is supposed to be a less heinous crime than murder right? Yet ‘Manslaughter’ has the word ‘Slaughter’ in it, which is a horrible word conjuring images of wide eyed animals being set upon with piano wire and duck tape. (Duck tape? Duct tape? Duck tape, surely.) Yet ‘Murder’ only has the words ‘ur’ and ‘der’ in it which are just stupid non words you use when describing baffoons such Mariah Carey or George Bush. Which in themselves, are heinous crimes so yes, I see what they did there. But do you see what I did there? Talking myself out of my own arguments is just one of the many services I offer. That, and naked pogo.
Case two: Jelly moulds. I have never seen a phallic-shaped jelly mould, so clearly, no one has thought jelly moulds through. I know wondywoman will be with me on this one. June 21 Small things.I’ve been meaning to say this for a bit now, but keep forgetting. Just a small message for someone who I think probably still reads this (out of boredom and curiosity) even though we haven’t spoken for months. I think of you often, and wonder how you are dealing with things…..many things. I sincerely hope you are happy and I am sorry we don’t talk anymore. When I think about it I suppose I miss our random chats but know that things could not have continued like that indefinitely as we had a weird sort of friendship but it was fun getting to know you. June 12 Miscommunication...Rebecca: (Looking around for her bread rolls) “Ellie, What have you done with my baps?”
Me: (Not paying attention at all....contemplates..) “Christ, what haven’t I done with your baps?” Bol's worldBollom on getting a bigger rat cage…
“Why can't you just use an up-turned shopping trolley? You can let them run on the wheels.”
Bollom on Friendship....
Me: “Look Bol! I used fake tan yesterday and now my legs actually nice for once!”
Bol: “You have scat-knees, and open weeping pores”
June 08 The picture. Sort of. Shiloh Nouvel looks disappointingly a bit like an anaemic tomato with lips. Is it just me or does her name make her sound like a panty liner for shoes? Mind you, better than Geri Halliwells little bundle of joy - Bluebollock Madonna or whatever her name is. I mean really - why don't they just go the whole hog and call their poor bastard offspring Shitzy-Maloo or something. Cruel, yet to the point. June 07 Brangelina sell baby photos for $7million bucks I never knew selling babies to publishers was so lucrative!
Stapling babies to ceilings yes, selling them to publishers, no.
Cows take on meeting the girls... She stayed in this exact position for about 2 hours. And Bollocks reaction......
 And she has stayed in this position for about 2 days.
|
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Invite as friend